Goal setting has been a challenge for me most of my life. Missing a goal caused me deep emotional pain. So I chose one of two ways to avoid the disappointment. Either I didn’t even set a goal or I set goals that I knew I could reach. This was very uninspiring and not beneficial at all.
Our team has been using the 12 Week Year process for the last 3 years. However, it wasn’t making much difference for me. Yes, I set goals for each 12 weeks but the goals had no benefit for me, in fact, they added to my self-condemnation. But I kept hearing from others how important and effective goals were. So there had to be some disconnect, at least for me.
The first shift came going through a Tony Robbins course. He started me linking goals to dreams. He encouraged us to set goals that drew us forward, even with no clue how to accomplish the goal. He said that a big goal almost reached would be so much better than a little, easily reach goal would be. So I started trying to dream again and find goals toward those dreams.
The next shift came when reading about setting bad goals vs setting B.A.D. goals. Bad goals did not pull or inspire and meeting them had little benefit in moving toward the dreams. B.A.D. goals stands for Big Audacious Dream goals. Shooting for the moon goals that scared the pants off but had the power to pull and inspire.
The final shift, at least final for now, came when Father God pointed out that my approach to goal setting was based on the fear I wouldn’t reach it instead of being filled with faith that, with His help, I might reach the B.A.D. goal. I was operating out of fear of failure and avoiding disappointment. Ouch, that hurt but I’m so grateful He loves me so much to point it out.
As I began setting big goals, Father kept encouraging me to dream bigger and set bigger goals. Goals that without His miraculous provision, could not be reached. Dreams the pull and inspire me and draw me closer to Him to accomplish them. To set goals from faith and to not give into fear of failure.
One aspect that has also helped was a discussion about accountability in the 12 Week Year book by Brian Moran. In the past, accountability has been something imposed upon me by others. And always with an apprehension of being found to have fallen short. Needless to say, I avoided this kind accountability at all costs. Brian Moran, in his book, re-frames accountability. “Accountability is ultimately ownership. It is a character trait, a life stance, a willingness to own actions and results, regardless of the circumstances.”
Another thing I was reminded of is to enjoy the journey toward the goal as much as achieving it.
I’m still very new at this process and looking forward to growing more and more in it.